why we crave “fixing,” people.

“a girl once told me to be careful trying to fix broken people, for you may cut yourself on the shattered pieces.”

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Love is complicated, it has the ability to not only come in and take over your heart but your mind too. Loving someone isn’t suppose to be easy, it is hard work but it’s hard work you should truly enjoy doing. It has highs, and very difficult lows. Love leads to passion, sacrifice, passion and sometimes even heart break. Love is beautiful, but can be incredibly disastrous. Loving someone who is completely wrong for you can end in complete disaster, and yet we find loving the wrong people, the broken people, the ones we find ourselves trying to fix ends up being so incredibly attractive to us when it slaps us in the face….

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We all like the chase, the success of getting the guy or girl is always a win but getting the guy or girl we had to fight for is so much sweeter. Broken people are so incredibly attractive to us, because you know not many people have been successful at it. It is hard, it is complicated and at times it completely breaks your heart but the small glimpses at the soft inside of that tough headed guy you’ve been working at for days, weeks, months, maybe even years. You hope to be the one girl he decides to change for, he decides to be better for, he finally says YES to.

We enjoy being the person to fix them, there comes a great sense of pride of breaking down the walls to a closed off and broken person. We find ourselves honored that after chasing for so long we finally get to see the person no one else gets to see. We feel proud that we get to see the person no one else does, we are the ones they finally decided to show their best side for and best side with. The changes that they’ve made though seem to only last as long as the relationship, does and as soon as you leave the hard work you worked so hard to bring out in them will disappear as if you did nothing.

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They make us feel happy and special, we work hard to fix them sometimes crying in the bathroom when they show you the glimpse of the person they use to be and you wonder if it’s even worth it but most of the time they put us on a pedestal as a person they crave to be. We are told on a daily basis how much they’ve changed and how much better of a person they’ve become since meeting you, and that feels good, makes us happy.

We crave the relationship, being in a relationship with someone you are trying to fix, someone who is broken , is a roller coaster. There are periods of highs and lows. It is unlike anything you have ever experienced, so it is exciting and different. It is unpredictable, and makes the whole relationship full of passion and emotion that you never want to let go of. You wonder how you could ever love anyone else because this love is all consuming and encompassing. It is the love you see in the movies, but it is also the love that hurts. And even though it’s a love that can be painful, it’s a love that you don’t want to let slip because losing a love like that seems completely unbearable.

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We see a glimpse of ourselves in them, everyone in this world is a little broken and has their fair share of baggage and past heart ache. When we meet someone with baggage and a heart full of pain, we see a piece of ourselves in them. We spend endless amounts of time pouring into their lives and working to glue the pieces of their heart back together because we hope that someone would do the same for us. If we felt the way they did, or experienced the emotions they are consumed with, we hope that someone would work to fix us and to mend our heart back together.

Loving a broken or damaged person is not a bad thing, and I believe that everyone in this world deserves to be loved and to experience love, but loving someone, damaged or not can be damaging. Yes, it is a love that is all consuming and encompassing. One that keeps you up late at night and makes you feel proud and empathetic, but it is also a love that hurts and requires you to hold onto the moments of high to get through the moments of heart ache.

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It is easy to be blinded by love and to lose sight of who you are. Relationships should be a love that makes both people better, a love that holds onto each individual and constantly works to bring out the best in them.

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